Remembering What Is

My little dog is very old now. I miss the younger dog, once admired by the likes of Paul McCartney, Kim Basinger, Anne Hathaway, and the steady stream of New York City strollers who have been delighted to see her smart sidewalk bounce and her platinum and charcoal coat. My Attie no longer bounces. She […]

Truth in Deviance

How secretly working in the erotic role play industry since age 19 taught me more about humanity than any upstanding profession I’ve ever held during normal business hours. Let’s say my name is Becca. Those who meet me in the real world might describe me as a kind but timid librarian-type with a pretty face, […]

The Old Country

Family habits are hard to quit. Cycles move through us and are passed down; we all carry our own portion of psychological damage, the inherited limitations that shape our existence. Our individual share of what Buddhists call samsara: the realm of perpetual illusions, our parents’ terrors, your dream of freedom. I’m transcribing my grandmother’s memoirs. […]

Unmaking My Eating Disorder

It would be extraordinary for a grown woman to spontaneously ration herself to 300 calories a day or vomit after every meal. Odds are that the skeletons pacing your average ‘Eating Disorders Ward’ have not had a short-term relationship with celery and self-loathing. Slowly, the flirtatious ecstasy of weight loss mutates into a full-fledged affair […]